Mental Moshpit

The Tepid Waters of Peace

2010-05-14T09:11:00.000-07:00

"Then [David] called for Solomon his son and charged him to build a house for the LORD, the God of Israel. David said to Solomon, 'My son, I had it in my heart to build a house to the name of the LORD my God. But the word of the LORD came to me, saying, "You have shed much blood and have waged great wars. You shall not build a house to my name, because you have shed so much blood before me on the earth. Behold, a son shall be born to you who shall be a man of rest. I will give him rest from all his surrounding enemies. For his name shall be Solomon, and I will give peace and quite to Israel in his days..." ' "

David was a man of bloodshed, running from enemies, entering into battles, defending himself and the people entrusted to him. Because of that God wouldn't let him build the temple; instead that honor was given to Solomon, along with a promise of peace during his entire reign. You would think that peace matched with Solomon's eventual unmatched wisdom would set the stage for him to become one of the best kings ever. And he did start out well... but the end of his life was a different story. He had all the wisdom in the world, and no enemies to boot, yet he screwed up in worse ways than his father (murder, adulter

y, pride, etc.).

It is a wonder how often the blessing of peace in our lives can lead us from swimming in the cool refreshment of the Lord, to the tepid, stagnant pools of self-reliance and pride. It doesn't have to. We can enjoy the peace of the Lord to its fullest because it is a beautiful gift from Him. He longs to pour out His favor on His kids. But sometimes we can royally screw up and think we have everything figured out and that is why we have peace. Solomon didn't have too many roadblocks in his life or leadership experience. I wonder if that is why he didn't turn out like his dad who was called a man after God's own heart even though he had his own vices to deal with. David was constantly turning back to the Lord when trouble came across his path. Pain was a sheep dog that herded David back into the fold of the Good Shepherd time and time again. But Solomon didn't have enemies, or wars, or famine to deal with. Yet look how he turned out--a overbearing and idolatrous leader of his people, taxing and working them to death, while he indulged in countless women and unimaginable wealth. He started out so well! And he finished a loser, letting his heart be turned from the One True God.

Solomon didn't treat God's peace as a gift. Rather he let the lack of trouble lead him to spiritual atrophy and his life ended with God's anger and judgment upon him.

So is unrest sometimes a good thing? Unfortunately I have to say yes. Sometimes I wander away from my Shepherd because things are easy, and I need one of those annoying sheep dogs to come bite me in the butt until I turn around and head back to the One who takes care of me. Trouble or pain isn't always a punishment though. Sometimes it is just the result of a busted world. Sometimes it is merely the result of my twisted perspective on life that doesn't fully take into account the goodness and provision of a God who promises to never leave my side. Whatever the reason for the pain, I have found (mainly through hindsight) that my trouble or anxiety can be embraced if it pushes me back into the arms of the Unshakeable God. Sometimes I just need a smack in the face to snap me out of my own spiritual atrophy. And even though I won't pray for troubles to heaped upon me and my family, I have found that there are blessings to be discovered through the process. I never want to turn out to be like Solomon at the end of his life. He had so much and threw it away... and maybe that would have changed if there were a few more potholes he had to deal with.

Me be the sheep, Thou be the Shepherd

2010-03-07T09:57:00.000-08:00

I find the Psalms to be a place of refuge for me both in times of struggle and in times of excitement. The psalmists, whether David, the Sons of Korah, or Xavier the lesser known Psalm dude, often found themselves unable to contain their joys, exultations, sorrows, and anxieties within their hearts. So they proceeded to pry themselves open and dump raw emotion and thought upon a page. They were the original troubled rock stars... Dashboard Confessional had to come from somewhere right? Anyway... they learned that God's presence was a safe place to open their hearts without shame. I believe the Holy Spirit led them to be honest and real before the Lord so we would learn to do the same. One of the best ways to do this is to place yourself into a specific Psalm and find where it takes you. It is an intimate and often unhindered atmosphere of communication with the Creator.

So here is a little bit of me putting myself into Psalm 23 and seeing what the immediate applications would be of me being a dumb sheep and God being the Good Shepherd (Read the Psalm first to put it into proper perspective):

Lord, you are my shepherd. When I am with you there is no need that goes unmet. You are the one who leads me to seasons of rest in fields of abundant life and you lead me to places of refreshment. You are the on true source of life for my soul. Apart from you my heart becomes fractured, discontent, and aimless. When I remain in and near you my soul finds comfort, fulfillment, and courage for the adventure you make life to be. When I stay focused on you I know you will guide me in the ways of right-standing before you--when your purpose is my purpose nothing can shake me.

Even in the times of darkness question, pain, or discomfort I can remain secure because you are my front and rear guard. When I am with you fear must leave, for you are greater than anything I may face. You will always faithfully bring me through those dark valleys into fields of life and peace. Even in discipline you are a comfort because through it you shape me to look like your Son.

In the presence of my fears, insecurities and doubts you prepare for me a feast of joy, passion, and confidence in who you are and who you created me to be. In you I find my calling and the mantle of anointing and authority with which I am meant to traverse life's paths. My life in your hands leaves behind an aroma of blessing and favor, never a wake of destruction. For when I dwell in with my foundation firmly rooted in you I am eternally joyful, expectant, secure, hopeful, courageous, peaceful, passionate, and powerful.

The Almighty vs. the Egg Roll

2010-01-05T07:24:00.000-08:00

"The LORD had said to Abram, 'Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you'.... So Abram left, as the LORD had told him"

(Genesis 12:1, 4a)

Sometimes it would be nice if the Bible gave us some more of the story. Abram lived among pagans who served other gods. He most likely served those same gods. Yet when the one true God decides to speak to him, it looks like he obeys without a word. How weird would that be for him? He didn't have

past examples to look at on how to respond when the God of all Creation summons you. He didn't even serve that God. His family didn't serve that God. He hadn't ever interacted with a holy being before because he served mute idols. There was no handbook for this .... because he was in the process of living out the handbook for us! So where did Abram get the faith to step out there and leave everything behind!? All we see is that God said Get up and go! and Abram got up and went. He didn't have it all figured out, he just figured out that he should respond somehow.

What example does this set for me? How many times have I lacked the initiative to respond to God's summons because of my need for more proof that it was Him that spoke and not just that whacked out egg roll I had for dinner? Maybe I could argue with a heavy dose of Christianese that "my spiritual ears are not in tune enough with his voice." But doesn't that argument fall flat on its face when it encounters Abram the Pagan's example here? The dude had no precedent set for him! He had no conceivable way of gathering "more confirmation." He had never heard from God before. Yet he responded with obedience!

I think I have even less excuse than Abram, because I live on this side of the Cross. Christ died to open up relationship with God for me. Then He sent His Holy Spirit to dwell in me, to guide me, to comfort me, to speak to me. There is nothing that separates me from God and His voice except that which I choose to place between us.

I do believe there are times to hold back on action for wisdom's sake (a Biblical truth for sure). But I think I use that and logic too often as excuses to cover up my fear to act.

So there's the challenge... if God summons, do I respond quickly and willingly? Or do I wait until I have everything figured out (which will never happen)?

Biblical Advocacy for Depends

2009-11-12T08:05:00.000-08:00

What would your first thoughts be if God said this to you?

"Brace yourself like a man; I will question you and you will answer me."

(Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention the fact that you had just spent a while monologuing about the many injustices

you had suffered under His hand.)

I'd like to say I would strike a pose of confidence and say "Do your worst!" .... Okay that isn't true at all. Truthfully my "bracing myself like a man" before the Almighty would look more like me needing a change of pants and a really good hiding spot.

Thankfully I don't think I can remember a time when I heard God say this to me. Job did. (Really... look it up in Job 38). And that was only the beginning of the response God unleashed verbally on Job. God goes onto to basically say Who do you think you are? Did you put the heavens in place? Can you make it rain, snow, thunder or lightning? No! (At this point I think I would have once again lost all control of bodily functions, including consciousness.) I am the One who put the stars in place! I am the One who causes day to become night and night become day! (And so on... I think you get the point)

This passage does several things to me:

Makes me laugh (mainly because it wasn't me sitting there)
Scares the dadgum bodiddly out of me (those are real terms I promise)
Humbles me before the amazing power and grace of the Creator

Whoa, whoa, whoa!! Back up the train bro! The GRACE of God!!?? How in the name of all that is good in Switzerland do you see God's grace in that!?

(Haha... okay maybe your reaction wasn't as intense as that, but I like think in theatrics.)

I see God's grace in His response because of how the book of Job doesn't end. God didn't end the story right there for Job because he chose to speak up against what in all honesty was a pretty poopy situation. God heard Job out (along with all of Job's wonderfully insensitive friends). Maybe God's response here seems like a verbal butt kicking, but it wasn't an existence squishing one. Though the story of Job makes many people (myself included) theologically uncomfortable, it does show how God is all powerful and yet all gracious and compassionate at the same time. God could have easily just let Job die or flicked him like a booger after Job goes all whiny--but He didn't. God doesn't back down, but He also doesn't say "Game Over" either. That is how I see grace in this story.

So anyway... let's just be glad we don't have daily moments with God like Job had here. And let's be thankful that God doesn't tire of us easily.

Dirty Yet Clean

2009-11-09T07:48:00.001-08:00

Today I once again experienced the amazing phenomena of truly seeing something in scripture that I had never seen before--though I knew it was a truth we should live by, I didn't know that it was explicitly stated in the Word. I am constantly amazed at this Living Word that can illuminate itself indefinitely to our minds even though we may have read and studied it for years! So here is the passage that brought upon one of those heavens-open-up-with-slightly-but-not-overly-dramatic-music moments (1 Cor. 5:9-13):

^"9I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people—¹⁰not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. ¹¹But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.

"¹²What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? ¹³God will judge those outside. Expel the wicked man from among you."

What stood out to me today was not necessarily the main point of this passage, but rather one of Paul's side notes. I have read these verses many times over the years and I always understood what it said about Paul's righteous anger and rebuke towards the Corinthians for the sexual immorality in their midst. Today was the first time that I have seen the distinction made between the sinful people within the Church and those outside of the Church--and more specifically what our attitudes and actions should be towards each.

Paul tells the Corinthians that they are to hand over the unrepentant brothers (a.k.a. Christians) to the devil for a while so they will come back to Jesus when they realize their error (that's a fun doctrine to deal with!) But what does he say about how we should see sinful people outside of the Church? (Notice the capital C--meaning I am talking about all Christians as the Body of Christ, not local congregations or denominations.) Paul told the Corinthians that it would be ridiculous if they tried to avoid the greedy, immoral, underhanded folks who don't have Jesus because they might as well go live in a cave or a tree for as well as that would work. He said it is not only unavoidable, but also unnecessary (and wrong I would venture) to avoid being around those without Christ. He actually says, "Who am I to judge them?" !!!!

If Paul couldn't and wouldn't judge them, then maybe I should take note. This is the thing people of the Church (myself included) need to really understand. We are called to be dirty yet clean... like Jesus was. He got His hands dirty by reaching out to the unloved, the greedy, the broken, the outright evil of the world. But He was clean in spirit. He never sinned and he didn't avoid those who did. He saw those people as opportunities to share the Father's love! But at the same time He opened up a can on the pharisees and teachers of the law for being hypocrites. He didn't have a personal vendetta against them--He just knew what the house of God should look like.

This is what I come away with. I am to be dirty yet clean. I cannot avoid or judge those without Jesus. Nor should I. However, in my own life and in the lives of my brothers and sisters in Christ I am called to uphold a standard of righteousness. The Body of Christ should have a clean heart yet have dirty hands.

Shelter

2009-09-23T10:32:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday our Foursquare Interim President Glen Burris spoke a short message on hope. There were several great nuggets of truth I walked away chewing on, but today I am holding onto one in particular. He said, "When your life is absent of peace, you should know that you are in a spiritual battle."

I deal with anxiety quite a bit in my life, though I wish I didn't. It is usually sporadic in nature and quite unfocused. Why am I worried at any given time? More often than not I couldn't tell you the source issue... I'm just wigging out. But thinking about what Glen said this morning woke me up to the fact that often I find myself settling with existence as usual in the midst of these waves of anxiety. The real truth of the matter is that I need to wake up and realize that those anxious thoughts are not accurate reflections of the God I serve, or His Spirit dwelling within me. Thus it must be some sort of spiritual battle (either against myself or the enemy). And what does one do in a battle? Well, I don't think "sitting on one's butt oblivious to the nature of events occurring in the immediate vicinity" would be in the list of things to do on a battlefield. Yet nine times out of ten this is what I do when I come under attack by anxiety. I just sit there and try to exist my way through it until this wave disappears and another one shows up.

I think my better option would be to fight back. And when it comes to the God I serve, my best offense is a good defense--and God is the greatest defense I could ask for. Nothing can reach me when I dwell in his sheltering presence.

Psalm 91 is my favorite Psalm to read in times like this:

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord, 'My refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.'
For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his pinions and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness is a shield and a buckler.
You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.
A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
You will only look with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked.
Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place--the Most High who is my refuge--
no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.
On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.
'Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;
I will protect him because he knows my name.
When he calls to me, I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation."

Now, as I realize I am in an active battlefield I need to shake off the shell-shock, regroup, and run for cover. Only from God's sheltering presence can I advance with any advantage against my enemies.

Infinite Dividends

2009-08-01T11:09:00.000-07:00

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time." (1 Peter 1:3-5)

Today I was struck by the immensity of eternity and my place within it because of Christ's gift of salvation (my "inheritance"). In a world that is obsessed with investing, or maybe more accurately obsessed with receiving dividends from investments, I have been given the only lasting investment with the ultimate payoff. It is unaffected by age, war, rust, depreciation, disease, weather, disaster, exposure, or financial crisis. It can never be outdated or outmoded by new technology. I have been promised eternity free from pain, death, disease, violence, heartache, depression and poverty. And the best thing is that I don't merely cease existing and therefore cease experiencing these negative things. The end of this life for me is a promised beginning--not an unavoidable termination. I have guaranteed life--and life beyond anything I could ever imagine alongside the infinitely mind-blowing Creator of all matter, space, and time!

It cannot be lost unless I willingly turn my back on it. It cannot be stolen. I have living hope residing within me, not merely a semi-comforting hope of it all ending one day. This is what sustains me. This is what energizes me. And let me be the first to tell you that I hate emotionalism. I don't buy into hype. I actively seek to find holes and weaknesses within any concept I come across. I am a rational and (if I may say so) intelligent person -- ask anyone who knows me. I say that not to pump myself up, but to reinforce the idea of the solid faith I have in my Savior. If it had weaknesses and flaws that other worldviews could better explain I would turn my back on it. But it has not and will not be destroyed by anything this world can throw at it. I have experienced personal pain and frustration that would shake this apart if it were only a frail crutch to lean on. That is why I can confidently say along with the Apostle Paul:

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)

Windblown

2009-07-07T12:30:00.000-07:00

Hurricane, tornado, tsunami, whirlwind... these are all words that could describe the type of change that has happened over the last several months. Yet those terms would fail to truly describe it, seeing as each of them have destructive implications. To say the least, our lives have been hit by a tornado of change over the last three or four months. But, instead of leaving a path of death and debris in its wake, it has left new life, new opportunities, new vision and new hope. Nothing and no one has been torn down or beat up; rather, new foundations have been laid by the Master Builder on which He is constructing exciting blueprints for a future and a hope.

Change is inevitable where health is present. Nothing can grow without change and nothing can heal without it. One can always recognize the fingerprints of God in a situation when the change occurring leaves refreshment, excitement, and peace behind instead of a nasty aftertaste of anxiety, bitterness, and burnout (kind of like the emotional equivalent of a burp after eating spicy sausage, sauerkraut, ginger ale, and triple-chocolate cake... not exactly something you look forward to.) God has been stirring things up recently for our church here in Simi Valley in some very exciting ways. Gifted and integrity-filled leaders have transitioned out and new godly leaders have transitioned in. There is nothing but obedience and righteousness present on any side of the equation and I believe that I am blessed to have a front row seat in this class on Spirit-led Transition 101. Praise God that nothing has come about because of sin, politics, or indiscretion! It is a win-win situation whenever God orchestrates change, unlike the fiasco of man driving it.

Though our circumstances have changed and we are excited to face the new season, our greatest comfort is that we can hold onto a God who never changes! His hand is behind all of this, and through it all His love, peace, grace, and hope never falter because He doesn't change. Along with the Psalmist we can exclaim:

"Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations. Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God!"

Psalm 90:1-2

I am stoked to enter this new season, even if I do feel a bit dizzy from the whirlwind of the Holy Spirit's stirring. When it is His hand that shakes up my life, I have absolutely nothing to fear or lose and everything to gain and hope for!

Evicted

2009-05-18T08:00:00.000-07:00

In Philippians 1:6 Paul writes to the people of Philippi, "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." I have read this verse many times. I have held onto it in good times and on days where I can't stand the sight of myself because of my proclivity towards sin, rotten attitudes, and all-around poo-faced-ness. What a great joy it is to think that God is still working on me! I don't have to be perfect! I am still under construction, but one day.... (insert dream-sequence music as I imagine myself in a state of future perfection). What I never realized is where this verse says my focus should be right now.

Yesterday, Pastor Dan was speaking vision to our church for the next three to five years. At the beginning of the sermon he told us that, "Vision is not the goal. The process of getting to the completed vision is the goal." I have heard that idea communicated before, but combined with reading this verse out of Philippians today I am struck by the simple truth that my focus needs to be on the process of me becoming more Christ-like. Just like our church cannot focus on the mental picture of the completed five-year vision, I cannot let myself become centered on what I could be; I need to be thinking about what God is doing in me now. The danger of focusing all my energy and thoughts on the vision of my potential is that I will become wrapped up in either apathy or self-loathing because it is just too hard, or it is pointless to even try because I am so screwed up, so selfish, so whatever.

Paul told the Philippians that the work that God began in them will be completed at the day of Jesus Christ. That is not right now. That is when this age ends and the new one begins. But how often do I throw a fit when I don't see myself to be completely Christ-like NOW?

This doesn't excuse me to act like a baby or sin like crazy. What it tells me is that I need to embrace the pain and discomfort of the process of becoming Christ-like because that is my purpose right now. I won't be completed for a very long time. In the mean time it will hurt. It won't be all kicks and giggles. The toddler in my spirit will throw fits as it grows into a man of God. I will be stretched. I will feel sore and bruised.

My life cannot be about my own comfort. Jesus lived with His eyes on the Father and on others before looking at Himself. I am not used to that. I faithfully pay the lease on my comfort zone, but God's transformation of my heart threatens to evict me. Yet if I can learn to engage the hard moments of my growth I will be more apt to catch what it is God is trying to teach me.

Live in the process with occasional glances at the goal. A lump of clay or a blank canvas rarely becomes a masterpiece over night. That being said however, the true art of what God does is not just in the finished product.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered

2009-04-21T12:25:00.000-07:00

"In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory."

Ephesians 1:13-14

If only I could grasp the intensity of this claim! (Seeing as we no longer use wax seals on letters or packages, this passage can easily lose its luster in our "modern eyes") A seal carries all the weight and authority of the one who owns it. It is a way to prove identity, guard against forgery, and proclaim authority. And I have such a seal placed upon my life by the Author of Life Himself. Through my acceptance of Christ God has placed His royal seal upon my life. But do I live like I am carrying such authority, security, or identity? Rarely.

Life can so easily numb us to the amazing identity we can claim in Christ! How would I change the way I live, act, think, or speak if I lived every day as if I carried the royal seal of the King of Kings upon my existence? What victories could I have where I have experienced defeats? What courage could I have where I quickly default to anxiety? Do others see God's Holy Spirit upon me like they would see a royal seal on a letter? Do they expect the contents of my life to back up the authority proclaimed by that seal? Or do I act like junk mail wrapped up in a fancy envelope?

He has already placed His signet ring upon the wax of my life and left His mark. He lets me decide whether to act like it or not.

Sucker Punch

2009-03-30T10:08:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have those times when your weaknesses sucker punch you in your confidence? You look at yourself and think, wow I really can't do this. It doesn't even have to be a bad day for it to happen either. You could just be sitting there minding your own business, drinking your coffee, admiring the serenity of God's creation, whistling Zippity Doodah and... WHAMMMM! All of a sudden you are on the floor with coffee dripping from nostrils that just inhaled scalding hot beverage wondering What the heck was that? and Why do I feel like a loser? and Dang! That coffee is hot!!

Why does this happen? I know it happens to us all. And it is about as enjoyable as watching reruns of C-SPAN while getting a root canal on a day when you painfully realize a little too late that you really don't fit into those pants anymore.

It is during moments like these that I both love and absolutely hate passages that Paul writes so confidently like: "for in Christ Jesus you are all sons and daughters of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ." (Gal. 3:26-27, emphasis added)

I love this truth because Paul doesn't add any small print about feel-like-a-loser-loopholes in our acceptance with God. He so confidently states that if we have given our lives over to Christ's control then we ARE God's children and we HAVE PUT ON Christ regardless of how much we feel like that smelly mystery substance we had to scrape off of our shoes this morning.

I hate this truth because of the little "through faith" asterisk Paul slips in there. That means that it isn't up to me. I am not the one who does the good stuff that earns me the pat on the back, the gold stars, or the accolades of my many fan(s) (thanks Mom). I like the feeling of power and accomplishment and pride when I figure out how to conquer a challenge. But when it comes to my own salvation and standing before God I find myself in a state of helplessness.

Yet somehow I think I should embrace these sinus searing moments because they push me closer and closer to the edge of actually living a life totally abandoned to the extravagant and ridiculous grace of God.

Next time that ugly little weakness gargoyle pops out of the bushes to sock me one I hope I'll be ready.... to give him a hug

"Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
(2 Cor 12:9b-10)

Thanks Paul..... what a pal....................... argh...

Morning Breath

2009-03-23T14:54:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I look at myself and where I am in life and wonder if God knows what He is doing with me. So much change has happened all at once in my life and in the lives of those around me--which makes me think that maybe God got surprised by it all and had to scramble to put someone in the positions I find myself in. But in my heart I know that nothing surprises Him. I am not just the "fill-in guy" in God's mind. He has picked me out especially for what I am doing. Just like Paul said in Galatians 1:15 about his own place in life: "[He] set me apart before I was born... and called me by his grace." Yet even with that knowledge I still find myself questioning God's choice.

Does He have any idea how messed up I can be? Does He know what I deal with? Does He regret His decision when my attitude sucks? Does He get embarrassed when I say this, or think that, or mess up here, or lose focus there?

This morning, while I was half-awake in the shower, God decided to answer these questions. (Now mind you I was not contemplating these theological frustrations when He answered--I was hardly awake enough to remember to shut my mouth when using face-wash... yes I do know what that stuff tastes like... He just decided to drop it on me.) He said to me "Seth, I know what kind of person you are. I knew before you were born what would tempt you, what would depress you, what would distract you. I knew you would mess up, struggle, and fail. I chose you anyway. I created you with purpose. I don't look at all your hang-ups when I see you. I don't sit around worrying about when you are going to screw up next. I know that there will be mistakes made, but I made provisions for that through my Son. He is what I see when I look at you. Don't worry, I know what I am doing."

You gotta love it when God pops out of nowhere and hits you with a humdinger like that. I wasn't awake enough to argue. I'm sure He knew that. And now as I sit in my office I am awake enough to realize how blessed I am to be loved so unconditionally by my Creator. There are days when I am convinced that I fail at being a decent human being, let alone husband, son, pastor, or friend. But God knew there would be those moments. Jesus was sent for those moments. I just need to relax and know that He knows what He is doing.

Reach

2009-03-19T14:56:00.000-07:00

I was recently in Oregon for a wedding of some friends. On the way back, as I stared out the window of the plane I was struck by the beauty of creation as it shrunk away beneath me. It was a clear sunny day for those of us above the cloud cover. Inspiration hit me, so I had to write. This was the result. I haven't written poetry in a while so it may get reworked eventually:

In Heaven's wilderness
white tranquil behemoths
float by in silence,
unaware of the perceived barriers
easily created
between earthbound minds
and the Divine Face.

Snowy eternal landscape
solid to sight, feathery to touch
sporadically parts as a window
into the turmoil below...

Yet the Swift Sure Hand,
purposing to reach into the clamor,
dwells in the din
amongst those deciding
the wide and the narrow--
those who could be mere pin pricks,
no more than dust.

Yet they--no we!
are the heat of His heart,
the works of his art.
Not damned or destined for death
but chosen, blessed, renewed.

We tread both asphalt roadways
and cloud-paved skyways,
His hands firmly upon unsure shoulders,
not needing to know the way,
only the Waymaker.

Cycles of Grace and Forgiveness

2009-03-02T14:46:00.000-08:00

Luke 17:3-4
"Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' you must forgive him."

Reading these verses today made me realize how God is so incredibly in tune with human nature (and by "human nature" I mean the tendency to repeatedly screw up and repent, screw up and repent, screw up and repent, all in the same day). Jesus is telling people here that even in their person-to-person relationships they need to imitate God in how He relates to us in the midst of sin cycles. We are expected to show unending forgiveness to each other. It doesn't matter if it is one offense or thirty-two in one day. We are still to forgive. Now that part isn't the amazing thing to me. I understand that we are to be forgiving with each other. But what I have never seen in this before is that it is really a reflection of God's heart towards us. He is infinitely forgiving and gracious to us even though he knows we may do the same stupid thing to Him countless times in one day. He understands that mankind is messed up and that we often fall into the cycle of sin and repent, sin and repent without trying to. Yet His grace never falters. He faithfully extends his love and forgiveness to us all the way through our ridiculous daily cycles of sin.

How humbling it is to get smacked in the face with the truth some time! I can't count how many times I have had to ask for forgiveness and repent for the same thing multiple times in one day. And there are moments when I think that God actually gets tired of hearing me come back to Him in repentance because I think He is thinking, "This guy doesn't really mean it. He is going to go screw up again in fifteen minutes." God's heart is always that we would return to right relationship with Him. He extends his grace in spite and/or because of our cycles of idiocy. If he expects us to forgive each other like this, then it is all the more true for us and Him. Whether it is once, twice, or three thousand times I never need to fear that his forgiveness won't be there.

Superbowl Thoughts

2009-02-02T09:40:00.000-08:00

1) For the first time in a while I was very impressed with the athletic performance of the teams in the Big Game. It seems that in the past few I have watched have been, at best, an average football game. This time, instead of waiting for the commercials with great enthusiasm, I was on the edge of my seat waiting for the teams to start pounding away again. Both teams fought like they wanted it until the last seconds of the game. That was what a championship game should look like!

2) What happened to the commercials? That used to be a highlight for Superbowl Sunday! It is supposed to be the one time of year that everyone wants to watch them right? There were a couple that I laughed about, but overall it was a lackluster showing.

3) Are we picking past their prime musicians for halftime shows merely to avoid another wardrobe scandal brought on by our generation's Janet Jacksons? Not that The Boss isn't a good musician, but when I think football I don't think of him (or the Rolling Stones for that matter). I think of heavy guitars, bone crushing breakdowns, and a little more angst... but I guess not everybody shares my tastes in music. What is the target audience for the NFL anyway? Maybe the music matches them, I don't know. I just need a little more heavy hitting in that area.

Adult Diapers Needed

2009-01-12T11:18:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I laugh when I read the Bible. My twisted sense of humor latches onto little things found within the powerful words and stories and creates something akin to Sunday School meets Napoleon Dynamite, Nacho Libre, and The Office. I know my little mental movies are probably heretical and irreverent to some, but I think we often forget the raw humanity that actually existed within the characters of the Bible's stories. We let them stay "stories" and forget that Gideon, David, Moses, Peter, John, and Judas were real people that acted and reacted like the rest of humanity did and does.

Insert my latest SNL bible scene: the Transfiguration

Jesus takes Peter, James and John onto the mountain. They doze off while Jesus prays and talks to some "dead" guys. They snap out of their sleep haze and see that Jesus is glowing like he just got back from a Chernobyl missions trip. Then they realize that its not just any dead guys, but it is Moses and Elijah. The three apostles start to freak out like teenage girls at a Jonas brother's concert because Mo and Eli are superstars of their faith... until they realize that the intensity of the situation would probably dictate more appropriate behavior--wouldn't want a dead saint to get a bad impression. Peter gets the bright idea that they should be hospitable and put up a tent for Jesus and his buddies from heaven to hang out in. (All in all not a bad idea). All of a sudden a crazy looking ominous cloud surrounds them. James' knees start knocking together, John is looking a little pasty, and Peter is babbling about the roast he left in the oven that he really needs to get back to. Then God cranks the amps and turns on the woofers and blasts his voice out of the cloud, saying:

"This is my Son, my Chosen One; listen to him!" (note the exclamation mark used--whens the last time God used an exclamation mark with you)

This sudden sonic statement really puts the icing on the cake and has the already terrified apostles reaching for the Depends. Uh-oh.... too late.

No wonder the next verse says that the apostles kept silent about the incident. I would probably have done the same. I guess there are no "normal" nights of hanging out with Jesus for these guys.

These guys were humans like you and me. How do you think you would have reacted to what went down on that mountain? Jesus in his full glory chatting with the super saints of old and God blasting a command to listen to His Chosen One in your ear from a creepy cloud!? Yeah, you would be doing the same thing.

How long until the savior turns into the new satan?

2008-11-17T10:37:00.000-08:00

Please don't see this as an attack, rather a musing.

I see so many headlines, message board posts, blogs, and bulletins that carry exclamations of relief, hope, change, and prosperity for the world's future with Obama at the helm. I have no problem with people's support of the President elect, but I wonder how long his ratings will stay up? How long will it be before this new "savior" becomes a target for cruel words, scathing reviews, personal insults, or heads shaking in frustration? It happens to every president we have had in the past, and it will happen to Obama too. Whether you are a conservative or liberal, right or left wing, Rep or Dem, elephant or donkey, you paint a permanent bulls eye on yourself when you assume leadership of this country. People like you one day and herald you as the change we have all been waiting for (like that isn't said every four years!) and the next day you are fodder for an angry public and rival politicians.

Don't treat Obama like he is Jesus. He won't save the world. I would say the same thing about McCain or Nader or Pat Robertson. These politicians are not the ultimate change we are looking for. We have to look to Christ for that. Pray for this nations' leaders, but don't worship them. I don't care if you have Obama stickers on your car or "Bush for Life" tattooed on your chest, my thoughts would be the same. Pray for righteous leadership. Pray for protection. Pray for divine wisdom. Pray for personal transformation and radical relationship with the Creator for all of our nations' leaders. If you place your hope in politics you will get burned (at least every four to eight years).

I believe Israel did that once. They told Samuel they were tired of trusting in God and they wanted someone they could see and touch. "Give us a king old man!" Sam cringed, God warned, but they persisted. Their loyalty was misplaced and they got burned. Don't make the same mistake. I don't hate Obama and I didn't unswervingly love McCain either. I respect them both. I will not demonize anyone. I pray the Obama will be an amazing leader that listens to the voice of God. I trust that God can speak and lead through anyone who listens, but it is God that will never fail me--not politicians.

David's words ring true here:

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. They collapse and fall, but we rise and stand upright. O LORD, save the king! May he answer us when we call."

(Psalm 20:7-9)

Soul Story

2008-11-04T12:33:00.000-08:00

Every soul has a story. For each person, whether loved or hated by surrounding society, there is a reason for how they live, love, hate, think, rebel, influence, speak, write, create, and dress the way they do. No person is void of a story. And no story is without meaning. There is meaning and worth and purpose to each life because God has imprinted us with a reflection of His image. We have inherent worth because of the majesty and glory of the Creator and because of the blood of His Son that was spilled for our sake. How often do we forget this as Christians when we look at those in this world without Christ? It is easy to see God’s reflection in a newborn infant or an innocent toddler, but do we think the same thing when we look at those who truly drive this culture: celebrities, musical megastars, porn stars, film directors, entertainment tycoons? It seems a little more difficult for most Christians to look at Marilyn Manson or Eminem and see a child of God… but it isn’t any less true. We would rather boycott and picket than pray for them. Yet Christ died for them like He died for all of humanity. And who is it that the hurting, angry, questioning youth of this generation flock to for solace? It is these cultural forces that we flinch away from as if they are not human. These are the movers and shakers of our world—not politicians, legislators, teachers, or clergy—whether we like it or not. Where they go our society follows. And fear of this reality is what causes us to draw a line in the sand, behind which we point our fingers, scream words of “repentance” and try to hope our way into a safer society for our children.

A major problem lies within this approach: there is no “them and us” when it comes to the love of God. There are no lost causes except in the minds of Christians caught up unknowingly in the trap of arrogance, fear, and lies. We recognize that these stars hold sway over society even more than politicians and we get scared. We see the evil, the deception, the darkness, the immorality and we feel cornered so we lash out. What would happen if we prayed for them? What if we looked through all the darkness and saw the injured, depressed, broken, and questioning child of God? What if we got into their stories and prayed with purpose for those who hold such sway over our youth, our pop culture, and ultimately our society as a whole. We need not lash out; we need to listen. We need to pray between the lines of what is being shown if we truly believe that Jesus came to seek and save the lost. We don’t do this out of arrogance, but out of genuine compassion and love. We do not patronize or look down our noses because we follow Christ. We must remember that we are all broken without the love and grace of Christ. We instead should look these stories, these people, these beloved creations of God in the eyes and pray with intensity and passion that God would move on their behalf.

Feel Free to Comment!

2008-10-20T10:07:00.000-07:00

Hey folks. Just wanted to remind those of you who read this that I would love to hear your thoughts on anything that I post. One of the reasons I created this blog is to create conversation--not just publish my thoughts. I want to know what you think too. So comment away! Thanks.

Pray for Christians in India!

2008-10-13T10:08:00.000-07:00

Christians in India are facing intense persecution--so much so that it caught the eye of the New York Times. Christians are being forced to convert to Hinduism under threat of destruction of their property and even death. The violence recently escalated after the killing of a Hindu swami known for encouraging people to choose Hinduism over Christianity. It is the Christians that bear the unfair response to the death of this Hindu leader.

Read the article here

My heart grieves for my Indian brothers and sisters in Christ. My life is so easy as an American Christian, for which I am thankful, but often that leads me to forget about the millions of Christians around the world who follow Christ at the risk of their own lives. I never want to become apathetic to this reality, even if I don't live a life even remotely as taxing as theirs. I am part of their lives just as much as they are part of mine as we are all part of the Body of Christ.

God Almighty, hear the cries of your children in India as they unfairly treated, abused, and killed for following you! Be the Mighty Protector of your children in India! Move upon the hearts of their enemies to turn from this evil. Bring light and freedom into this country riddled with darkness and bondage. May Psalm 91 ring true for your people there. Be their refuge and their shield against the attacks of the evil one.

When Ministry Holds up a Mirror

2008-10-08T15:50:00.000-07:00

God saw fit to place me into a place of awesome influence when He placed me in the lives of these students. Now, if I leave it at that I could comfortably stand back, admire this season of my life, smile and continue on as if it were just one of the millions of details that makes up my current existence. But God doesn't leave it at that. He had to go and have James write that infernal verse "With great power comes great responsibility" ...... oh wait... that was what Uncle Ben told Peter Parker as he died..... sorry.... geek moment....... Ahh! Here's what I was looking for: James 3:1 says,

"Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness."

So that throws a wrench into my comfort as a teacher! here I am minding my own business and God gently clears his throat and says, "Hey bro. You know that stuff you told the youth group that they should be doing.... don't you think that you should do it too? Just a thought." Of course He is right. And it is in these moments that you realize that ministry isn't just for the people you minister to. It is also a powerful tool for God to hold up as a mirror every once in a while to see if you are willing to Spirit driven heart surgery when your heart doesn't line up with His (even if your words do).

Thank God that his grace continues to work in the lives of those we call ministers (which should basically be everyone claiming to be a Christian right?). As much as it hurts my pride, my free time, or my ideas, I am very thankful that God holds up that mirror. If I am someone that any number of people in this world will look at expecting to see Christ exemplified, I better be willing to take a look at myself daily to make sure I don't have something embarrassing hanging from my nose or something ugly coming out of my mouth. (Yeah... you get the point).

Don't pirate music... get paid to listen

2008-09-04T10:53:00.001-07:00

Now, instead of trading free tunes in the dark alleyways of the internet, music junkies can now get paid a cut of the money used to legally buy it online. What ever happened to the true music fans that actually support their favorite artists with their hard earned cash? The end result being they get to enjoy the art and know that they had a part in keeping it alive. Now we have to get paid as an incentive not to pirate music? Give me a break. Pretty soon we are going to be upset that restaurants aren't paying us to eat their food or that film production companies aren't paying us to see their films. What do you think? Read the article at share your thoughts.

http://www.newsvine.com/_news/2008/09/03/1820387-new-music-site-gives-fans-a-cut-of-tune-sales

Faith in Christ Break Down

2008-08-19T11:37:00.000-07:00

No, my faith is not breaking down! This is about breaking faith in Christ down into its fundamental pieces in order to better understand it.

In youth group we are starting a series on apologetics. We want to explore the fundamentals of our faith and discuss how we know it is true and how we can share it understandably with others. To begin the series we are having the group share what they think are the foundations of Christianity. So I pose the same question to you:

If you had to highlight the ten most important foundations/doctrines/truths of Christianity, what would you say they were? Of course, there are not only ten indispensable truths in all of Christianity, but I would be interested to see what you would highlight as your "Top Ten."

Responses?

I'm Invisible... Can You See Me?

2008-08-12T11:48:00.000-07:00

Apparently we are not far off from being able to literally use invisibility cloaks (all my Harry Potter fans make some noise!). Scientists have discovered how to bend light "the wrong way" to create invisibility. This is pretty hard to imagine or even to believe but this article seems pretty legit. It blows my mind that this is not just science fiction anymore. Check it out. Tell me what you think. Could society ever responsibly use technology like this?

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/science/article4499914.ece

All Hail the One True God of Metal!

2008-08-04T11:12:00.000-07:00

The following is my own paraphrase of Psalm 150. It was an assignment given to me at our first staff meeting with Pastor Dan. We had to rewrite a psalm of our choice in words that would speak to us so I chose to write mine in the vernacular of a hardcore/metal show. It was because of this that Pastor Dan bestowed upon me the greatest nickname I have ever received: Metalbrook. I don't know why I hadn't thought of that name earlier.

Psalm 150: All Hail the One True God of Metal!

1) Praise the one from whom darkness flees!
Raise your fists and open hands
and pump them towards the sky!
2) This breakdown is for Him,
the One who whose hand crushes evil,
brings justice, spreads wonders!
3) Crank the amps till your ears ring
and blast the low end like thunder to God Almighty!
4) Make a circle in the pit
and throwdown like it was your last chance.
He gave you that breath that you're out of.
5) Let the double kick blast beats shake the ceiling;
the cymbals shatter the windows!
He likes it loud.
6) Scream the chorus, voices ringing, throats sung raw.
If you can breath,
you better scream these words to Him
for He is worthy!

My mind = hyperactive toddler

2008-07-31T13:49:00.000-07:00

Man! How long will it be until my brain kicks into the supposed "grown-up" mode where it can stay focused on work and responsibilities for more than fifteen minutes at a time? I thought I would have grown out of it in college, but my mind's eye is habitually distracted by shiny objects all over the mentalshpere (new word--I coined it... I think).

Am I doing something wrong? Do I have to eat more boring bran cereal in the morning to get my big-person-brain? Maybe I should start watching C-SPAN and Bloomberg television, and I can read the Economy section in the newspaper. (Ugh... my brain just threw up a little bit on itself).

The problem isn't just that my mind wanders. It is that I feel as if I get distracted to the point of not being able to do what I am called to do to the fullest extent. I don't want to get in the way of myself or in the way of what God wants to do in and through me.

Maybe the problem is that I just don't feel completely and utterly passionate about this season of life yet. (Notice I said yet!) Life is starting to settle down a little bit, but who am I kidding... everything is still brand friggin new for me: full time ministry, full time bill paying, full time husbandry (I'm talking about the act of being a husband... not about the act of tree trimming and bush planting), and all that stuff.

How long will it take? I know it will probably take a while. Yet I, like most of my generation, am spoiled by the fast-food-express-microwave-no-wait-30-second-attention-span paradigm of our culture. How does one detach themselves from that? I belong to God's kingdom, not this one I conveniently rent my earthly dwelling from.

So... is it me? my personality? immaturity? transition? my culture? my sugar intake? my music selection (oh God please don't let it be this one!)?

Oh well.... time to go suck it up and be an "adult" I guess.

Wish me well.

Live Like it Will Burn Tomorrow

2008-07-28T12:13:00.000-07:00

They will say, "Where is the promise of his coming? For ever since the fathers fell asleep, all things are continuing as they were from the beginning of creation" ....

But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a roar, and the heavenly bodies will be burned up and dissolved, and the earth and the works that are don on it will be exposed.

Since these things are thus to be dissolved, what sort of people ought you to be in lives of holiness and godliness [?], waiting for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be set on fire and dissolved, and the heavenly bodies will melt as they burn!

[2 Peter 2: 4, 8-12]

How does the knowledge that it could all burn tomorrow effect my life today, right now, at this moment? Do I even allow it to effect me? I don't live in fear of it. In fact I see that Peter thinks we are awaiting it... actually hastening its coming. But aside from not fearing it, do I ever engage the thought that Jesus' return could be at any moment? One day there will be a throwdown between God and this world... and it could happen three minutes from now or 5 days or 8 months or 32 years.... any time. But does that knowledge do anything to the way I act now? I don't think it always does... but it should. The countdown is happening, but no one can see the timer...

Tick tock...... tick tock.....

I can focus all my energy on trying to figure out how much longer it will keep ticking so I can keep living as if it isn't ticking.

--or--

I can focus just enough on the ticking to know that it is there, and that there is a countdown for me, you, and the rest of the world and let that influence my words, thoughts, actions, and passions.

Tick tock.... tick tock.... .... .... (Do you smell it burning yet?)

Since these things are thus to be dissolved, what sort of people ought you to be in lives of holiness and godliness [?], waiting for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be set on fire and dissolved, and the heavenly bodies will melt as they burn!

Do I love like it is almost over? Do I live and leave imprints? Do I search for divine direction with desperation? Do I hear the ticking? Do I stand out like a pure and bright brush stroke on a tar covered canvas, or do I blend in--not quite white, not really black, more of a gray? Do I hope for opportunities to reveal Him to a hurting world or do I hide from them? Do I hear the ticking? I do not fear it, but do I fear for those who cannot hear it? The ultimate throwdown is coming? Am I selling tickets hoping for crowd casualties or am I directing traffic away from the epicenter towards the One who will shelter them from the blast? Tick tock.... am I listening?

Proof! Raise the rock fist!

2008-07-23T13:34:00.000-07:00

Yes, I actually was in a metal band! I am the guy smackin the heck out of the drums in the back. Oh and my wonderful wife is the one who is being "blessed" by the most Metal Birthday song ever. The quality of the video and performance may not be the most amazing in the world but for only having been together for three months and not really being able to hear what we were playing, I would say we did pretty well.

Enjoy the vid

LIFE Movie Awards- Bury the Ocean

Awaiting "Arrival"

2008-07-22T12:43:00.000-07:00

It is a strange transition that I find myself in right now. I have been a student for so long that I find myself somewhat scattered by the lack of homework and pressure that exists within the world of academics. Now I must adjust to no longer being a professional student, but being a youth pastor by profession. Though I will never cease being a student because of my love to learn and stretch my mind, things are definitely different now. I sit in my office wondering how long it will take me to really engage this new position God has placed me in. It isn't that I have completely disengaged, but it doesn't feel like the type of engaging I would do when working on assignments for some class. Maybe it is just the lack of grades that makes it difficult (however that question opens up another can of worms about whether I define myself by my accomplishments and acknowledgment, which I am sure I will discuss some other time). Maybe it is merely the newness of everything that is leaving my head spinning (graduation, marriage, moving, full-time ministry, entrance into the truly adult world of bills/groceries/insurance/etc). Maybe it is God plowing the soil of my mind and heart preparing me for new growth. It is most likely all of the above.

All I can say is that I am definitely ready for some sense of arrival to whatever destination I am in the process of traveling to. Even if it is just a fraction of a percentage of feeling that, I still want it. But will there ever really be a time in which I "arrive." Nope... not on this earth anyway. Even though I say I want to feel the satisfaction and comfort of arrival, I also get bored easily if I am not constantly challenged or in the process of creating something. Has God made us all like that? Does He ever want us to feel as if we have finally arrived in our existence? I doubt that too. Wouldn't that take the fun out of everything--if we all of a sudden felt like we had nothing left to strive for the rest of our days, that every small and every giant goal and ambition had been marked off our bucket lists? Perhaps I digress into a different topic all together while trying to answer my own question. Nonetheless I don't think I will ever "arrive" in all of eternity because that would mean the end of creating and experiencing which is what God is all about.

So maybe I am not awaiting "arrival" so much as I am waiting for the feeling of fitting these new surroundings.

Yeah... that has to be it. Forget arriving. I just want to fit.