Adult Diapers Needed

Sometimes I laugh when I read the Bible. My twisted sense of humor latches onto little things found within the powerful words and stories and creates something akin to Sunday School meets Napoleon Dynamite, Nacho Libre, and The Office. I know my little mental movies are probably heretical and irreverent to some, but I think we often forget the raw humanity that actually existed within the characters of the Bible's stories. We let them stay "stories" and forget that Gideon, David, Moses, Peter, John, and Judas were real people that acted and reacted like the rest of humanity did and does.

Insert my latest SNL bible scene: the Transfiguration

Jesus takes Peter, James and John onto the mountain. They doze off while Jesus prays and talks to some "dead" guys. They snap out of their sleep haze and see that Jesus is glowing like he just got back from a Chernobyl missions trip. Then they realize that its not just any dead guys, but it is Moses and Elijah. The three apostles start to freak out like teenage girls at a Jonas brother's concert because Mo and Eli are superstars of their faith... until they realize that the intensity of the situation would probably dictate more appropriate behavior--wouldn't want a dead saint to get a bad impression. Peter gets the bright idea that they should be hospitable and put up a tent for Jesus and his buddies from heaven to hang out in. (All in all not a bad idea). All of a sudden a crazy looking ominous cloud surrounds them. James' knees start knocking together, John is looking a little pasty, and Peter is babbling about the roast he left in the oven that he really needs to get back to. Then God cranks the amps and turns on the woofers and blasts his voice out of the cloud, saying:

"This is my Son, my Chosen One; listen to him!" (note the exclamation mark used--whens the last time God used an exclamation mark with you)

This sudden sonic statement really puts the icing on the cake and has the already terrified apostles reaching for the Depends. Uh-oh.... too late.

No wonder the next verse says that the apostles kept silent about the incident. I would probably have done the same. I guess there are no "normal" nights of hanging out with Jesus for these guys.

These guys were humans like you and me. How do you think you would have reacted to what went down on that mountain? Jesus in his full glory chatting with the super saints of old and God blasting a command to listen to His Chosen One in your ear from a creepy cloud!? Yeah, you would be doing the same thing.