Awaiting "Arrival"

It is a strange transition that I find myself in right now. I have been a student for so long that I find myself somewhat scattered by the lack of homework and pressure that exists within the world of academics. Now I must adjust to no longer being a professional student, but being a youth pastor by profession. Though I will never cease being a student because of my love to learn and stretch my mind, things are definitely different now. I sit in my office wondering how long it will take me to really engage this new position God has placed me in. It isn't that I have completely disengaged, but it doesn't feel like the type of engaging I would do when working on assignments for some class. Maybe it is just the lack of grades that makes it difficult (however that question opens up another can of worms about whether I define myself by my accomplishments and acknowledgment, which I am sure I will discuss some other time). Maybe it is merely the newness of everything that is leaving my head spinning (graduation, marriage, moving, full-time ministry, entrance into the truly adult world of bills/groceries/insurance/etc). Maybe it is God plowing the soil of my mind and heart preparing me for new growth. It is most likely all of the above.

All I can say is that I am definitely ready for some sense of arrival to whatever destination I am in the process of traveling to. Even if it is just a fraction of a percentage of feeling that, I still want it. But will there ever really be a time in which I "arrive." Nope... not on this earth anyway. Even though I say I want to feel the satisfaction and comfort of arrival, I also get bored easily if I am not constantly challenged or in the process of creating something. Has God made us all like that? Does He ever want us to feel as if we have finally arrived in our existence? I doubt that too. Wouldn't that take the fun out of everything--if we all of a sudden felt like we had nothing left to strive for the rest of our days, that every small and every giant goal and ambition had been marked off our bucket lists? Perhaps I digress into a different topic all together while trying to answer my own question. Nonetheless I don't think I will ever "arrive" in all of eternity because that would mean the end of creating and experiencing which is what God is all about.

So maybe I am not awaiting "arrival" so much as I am waiting for the feeling of fitting these new surroundings.

Yeah... that has to be it. Forget arriving. I just want to fit.