My mind = hyperactive toddler

Man! How long will it be until my brain kicks into the supposed "grown-up" mode where it can stay focused on work and responsibilities for more than fifteen minutes at a time? I thought I would have grown out of it in college, but my mind's eye is habitually distracted by shiny objects all over the mentalshpere (new word--I coined it... I think).

Am I doing something wrong? Do I have to eat more boring bran cereal in the morning to get my big-person-brain? Maybe I should start watching C-SPAN and Bloomberg television, and I can read the Economy section in the newspaper. (Ugh... my brain just threw up a little bit on itself).

The problem isn't just that my mind wanders. It is that I feel as if I get distracted to the point of not being able to do what I am called to do to the fullest extent. I don't want to get in the way of myself or in the way of what God wants to do in and through me.

Maybe the problem is that I just don't feel completely and utterly passionate about this season of life yet. (Notice I said yet!) Life is starting to settle down a little bit, but who am I kidding... everything is still brand friggin new for me: full time ministry, full time bill paying, full time husbandry (I'm talking about the act of being a husband... not about the act of tree trimming and bush planting), and all that stuff.

How long will it take? I know it will probably take a while. Yet I, like most of my generation, am spoiled by the fast-food-express-microwave-no-wait-30-second-attention-span paradigm of our culture. How does one detach themselves from that? I belong to God's kingdom, not this one I conveniently rent my earthly dwelling from.

So... is it me? my personality? immaturity? transition? my culture? my sugar intake? my music selection (oh God please don't let it be this one!)?

Oh well.... time to go suck it up and be an "adult" I guess.

Wish me well.